Delegation, Part 6

(Start with Part 1, most recent is Part 5)

"Before we get to the state delegate voting, there are a few items of business." The high-pitched voice reverberated throughout the stadium. "First, there are some challenges to the Credentials Committee that must be resolved to solidify the delegate counts." After waiting in that line, it seemed to me that this particular committee had plenty of its own challenges, without having others add to the mix.

"First, we have a challenge of a count of delegates from precinct..."

Without going into excruciating detail, here's how this fiasco proceeded. First, the credentials committee chair, CCC, feebly attempted to explain the challenge, and no one understood him. Then a better-spoken young woman came up and read the minority report, which boiled down to an Obama supporter being kicked in favor of a Clinton supporter, which solicited jeering from the crowd. CCC then brought the motion of the committee report, and no one understood him. This went back and forth until yet another better-spoken young woman further explained the voting procedure. After a few rounds of this back and forth, a vote was finally called on the committee report, which failed, and then on the minority report, which obviously succeeded.

This entire process took about 30 minutes - for one precinct. One down, eleven more to go. At this rate we'd be wrapping up by around Sunday.

The second precinct took just as long, with another feeble explanation by CCC and a feisty minority reporter. This time, however, the committee sided in favor of an Obama supporter, so the committee decision passed. Tyranny of the majority -- I can has it.

I didn't hear the incantation, but at some point during the voting a nearby cleric cast Owl's Wisdom on CCC, because he finally had the sense to speak up and actually explain a few things about the committee - it's mission, composition, and motivations behind the committee decisions. The five minutes spent on these details would end up saving us hours.

"Next, we have a challenge of a count of delegates from precinct..."

"Madam Chair," an older gentleman stood down on the court at the microphone below the podium. "Madam Chair, since it has been explained to us that this committee has been designed to act fairly according to the rules, and made its decisions with bi-partisan support, I would like to motion that we accept the committee's report in it's entirety." Thunderous applause erupted in the building. This man was an angel, sent perhaps by God himself, to save us the grueling agony of listening to each precinct's whiny little problem one-by-one.

"I second the motion," said a goofy volunteer standing next to him, again wearing one of those dangerous Uncle Sam bayonet hats.

"This motion is on the table," the madam chair stated, "but for it to go to vote first all of the committee recommendations must be read into the record." CCC seized his opportunity for the coup de gras and approached the microphone once again. Softly and swiftly each challenge was read into the record while the mass of minority reporters behind him shook their heads in disbelief.

"All in favor of accepting the committee's report in it's entirety, say 'Aye'."

"Aye." The resolution passed.

"Next, we must elect the permanent chairmen who will oversee the rest of the convention proceedings."

As seems customary with these kinds of things, the 'acting' chair was nominated and approved to be the permanent chair. Continuing down the list of positions to be filled, a few monkeys decided to get cute and run down from the stands to nominate their friends for the position. It really is true that you can't get a mass of people to sit down and shut the fuck up, even when it's in their own best interest to do so. The process which should have taken 5 minutes stretched into 15 as more fools lined up to nominate decidedly unqualified candidates.

"I move to end the nominations," the goofy volunteer finally spoke.

"Seconded," half the auditorium shouted out.

"With all positions elected," the temporary-turned-permanent chairwoman stated, "we can now move on to the precinct caucuses for state delegate selection."

(Conclusion ...)